Choosing me...

I had my first cross fit type workout last night.... All I have to say is bless my heart and thunder thighs. My legs are so sore and if we're being honest, I may or may not have thrown up. The old me might have given up, might have made an excuse, and then decided  I was too busy to never go back, but here's the thing about giving up. I just can't. I had a sweet friend who reminded me that I can do anything for an hour and she is so right. I've faced harder and scarier things. This is nothing.

I want to live a healthy life not just for myself, but for this handsome face....

I have been overweight since the day he met me. From DAY ONE. What consistently amazes me is that he loves me just like this. He didn't meet me  during high school and college when I felt skinnier and confident.  He didn't meet the girl who felt care free, who had never felt heartache, who danced on tables and on occasion, forgot that I had responsibilities. Clay met me during a time when I love myself the least. Yet, he loves me, he loves my heart and he chose me to be his wife because he thinks I'm beautiful. Now, it is my turn to choose me.  So here it goes. I owe this to myself. No excuses, puking or not, sore or not, tired or not, I'm going to learn to love me.

27 dresses later...

 

Our love story started long before I met Clay.

 

If you really think about it, most love stories start that way. Every dark day, every lonely night, defines the way we appreciate the moments of happiness. Trust me, I had a lot of dark days and enough Mr. Wrong's to know realize when I found Mr. Right. When I met Clay it was that moment people say you wait for. The moment when you suddenly know that he is what you had been waiting for. I had heard about him before, his best friend was dating mine, but we had never been face to face until our friends got married. I was the maid of honor, he was the best man, and literally walking down the aisle together was the beginning of us. I spent my evening shamelessly flirting and maybe even doing a little bit of staring. He is seriously handsome. It was that night that led to the start of a friendship and a first date.

Our first date consisted of going nowhere we had planned to instead spend hours in parking lot playing twenty questions and learning about one another. There are so many things I will never forget about that night, but the most important of those is that I knew. I knew he was mine. He was the man God had intended for my heart to love.

Three years later, Clay proposed. He did everything right. He asked my Daddy for permission, he custom designed my ring, and he dropped to one knee in the middle of twinkle light covered trees on New Year’s Eve. He said that, “he wanted to spend forever with me and didn’t want to wait another day for our forever to start.”  Of course, I said yes.  Our wedding is set for 12-31-13 and this is bound to be the best day ever.

Is our relationship perfect? No. In fact, it never will be. Clay is a firefighter and I am a teacher and with our careers come a lot of sacrifices all of which are worth dealing with to be together. I am in love with a man who makes me laugh uncontrollably, who loves me unconditionally, and whose flaws never outweigh the parts of his character that make him a genuinely good person. God knew even before I did, that when he put Clay in my life, he would be there to stay. I wouldn’t trade this perfectly imperfect love of ours for anything.